Giving birth is a physically challenging endeavor, but it is not limited to your midsection. Your whole body is involved relaxing through each contraction, changing positions, finding your rhythm. And while your body is doing the actual work, your mind plays a super important role as well and it should not be underestimated. What is going on in your mind directly affects what is going on with your body. If you are worried, scared, feeling watched or intimidated, labor can stall or become ineffective. If you feel safe, secure, focusing on the wonderful work your body is doing, labor will usually progress beautifully on its own.
Many women find birth affirmations to be helpful for them once labor gets tough. This gives them something to focus on, a way to keep their head in the game. Every woman has different ideas of what they think will help them. You have to find what will work best for you. Your partner, doula and birth team can read these to you in the depths of labor.
Cards: I have had students who made or bought cards with affirmations printed on them. Quotes that some women find helpful are
"I trust my body to birth my baby."
"My baby is born with pleasure."
"These contractions are not stronger than me."
"I am strong and beautiful."
"I am meeting my baby soon."
"Each contraction brings my baby closer to birth."
Prayers or scripture: I have a friend whose mother always attends her births for the sole purpose of reading scripture. Always at the perfect moment, softly and beautifully she reads a verse that speaks to the birthing mama.
Psalms 127:3 - "Children are a blessing from the Lord; the fruit of the womb a reward."
Duet. 28:4 - "Blessed shall be the offspring of your body and the produce of your ground and offspring of your beasts, the increase of your herd and the young of your flock."
Psalms 139:13 - " You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb."
Poetry: Some couples have special poems that speak to them during labor. The sweetest birth I ever attended, the mom looked at her husband and said "I know you have a poem on your heart..." and he reached over and whispered something in her ear. I'll never know what he said to her but it was just what she needed to gather the last little bit of energy to finish bringing their baby into this world.
Love letters: Yes, pull out those old love letters he used to write to you or guys, write her a new one! Labor can be a truly romantic time (sounds crazy, but true!) and reading some gushy, old love letters can remind you of the bond you two share and the fruit of that bond.
Encouraging words: Sometimes just hearing "you're doing great!" or "you are so awesome!" is all you need to hear to keep going. Building a loving and encouraging birth team is so important.
Every laboring mama is different. There's no "one size fits all" when it comes to what kind of encouragement a woman needs. Prepare now! Talk to you birth team about what you think would be helpful during labor and practice during pregnancy so it's not awkward when it comes time to pull those out. Practice makes perfect, after all!
Happy encouraging!
Cheryl